Well apparently he's into motor boating.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i now understand why vodka
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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