She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
