Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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