I will die if light touches me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
