I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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