Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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