Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
