i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
