I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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