i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
even my farts smell like vagina
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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