dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
