You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
