$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
