How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
