if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
kristin has been a bad kristin
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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