maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
