I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
