i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
