So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
