Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
