i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
