just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
