There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
