he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
