Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
