I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
