Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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