Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
