just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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