I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
