So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
