Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
