He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
