I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
