Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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