she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
