Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
