why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you never un-have a 4some
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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