Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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