Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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