She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
