You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
