wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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