i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
