my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
