so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
