i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
