So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want to make out with him forever
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
