Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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