She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
