Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
